The countdown to the first day of preschool is on. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t counting down the minutes until that first day drop off. I won’t be that mom silently sobbing behind her sunglasses as she pulls her minivan out of the school parking lot. I won’t be the mom hanging around in the hallway until class starts because there is nothing waiting for her to do at home. I will however be the one faking a sad face, yelling “I’ll miss you, have a great day” and then shouting joyously as soon as the window closes and I feel safely out of earshot.
Does that make me a shitty mom?
My child needs preschool as badly as I do. She needs the socialization. She needs to interact with the other kids in a structured setting. She needs to learn that she has to listen to other adults and figures of authority. And quite honestly, we need a break from each other. There I said it. I need a break from her. She needs a break from me. We need some time apart. Whew, does it feel good to get that off my chest.
Oh, and I don’t feel badly about it either.
We have gone non-stop all summer. Specialty camps. A 2 week trip to Florida. Countless visits to the museum and zoo. Afternoons at the library. Pool picnics and park play dates. You name it, we did it. And I loved it. I loved every second of being able to take my children and do fun things with them all summer long. I will cherish every memory we made this summer.
You know what I don’t love? Taking a shower with someone sitting on the other side of the door reading me a book. Having someone climb in bed with me every night around 2 am, place their head on my pillow and breathe on my face for an hour until they finally fall back asleep. Sharing sips and bites of every single piece of food or drink I make myself. Going to the bathroom in front of an audience. No, I do not need you to wipe me, thank you very much. The truth is, this mama just needs a break.
So I am ridiculously excited for preschool to start this year. Bring on the structure. Bring on the learning. The backpacks full of arts and crafts and little minds full of knowledge. Gone are the summer days of snacking from sun up to sun down because “mamaaaaaa I am just soooooo hungry again…”. Gone are the days of lounging in our pajamas because we have nothing planned. I have never been so excited to pack a little lunchbox and pick out a weeks worth of outfits.
So go on little bird. Fly off to preschool. Have the best time with all your sweet friends. Go ahead and learn something. Maybe ask your teacher “how did I get in mama’s belly” because I am running out of ways to answer that one. Practice writing your name. Draw me a billion pictures. I am going to be as excited to pick you up as I was to drop you off. And that’s a promise.