I confess: My belly has gotten so big it is almost impossible for me to bed over. If I drop something? Screw it. Unless it’s a hundred dollar bill, it’s just not worth it. When I shower I just pray that the soap runs down my legs and self cleans my calves and feet, cause god knows I can only reach down past my knees every few days. That being said, I have learned that it doesn’t. I recently crossed my legs and found some sand stuck to the back of my calf that I believe has been stuck there for more days then I care to admit.
I confess: I tell people that I understand 95% of what Mini says. That is an extreme over-exaggeration. Sure I understand more than you will because I spend 24/7 with her. But when she asks me a question in what is clearly A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE, you cannot possibly think I knew what the hell she just said! So yes, I pretend I did, and answer her however I see fit.
I confess: I am a hoarder. I think I need to go to a meeting. The fact that I coupon means at any given time I have 150 rolls of toilet paper or 16 bottles of bbq sauce. This isn’t even the problem, although my husband likes to think it is. This issue is that I cannot part with old, broken things. Things that I have no use for. I realized this was a problem when I wanted to keep a box of old checks from a closed account and call them a “memory”. Because you just don’t throw out memories. Or old checkbooks.
I confess: Out of the 21 meals I served Mini last week, she ate breakfast for 15 of them. What can I say..when the kid says pancakes she gets pancakes.
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