You are 2. I am shocked at how hard it is for me to say that. Every time I try, I get a small lump in my throat. I want so badly to rewind two years. To have Daddy hand you to me one more time. To have a feeling of overwhelming come over my entire body. To give you a bath for the first time. To remember the terror of driving around with you in the car. To feed you bottles at night and watch you fall asleep in my arms. To hear the first time you laughed. I mean really, really laughed. I wish I could go back and do it all over again. Every day. Every night. Every feeding. Every boo-boo. Every poopy diaper.
And yet, I am so excited for the future. To watch you grow. Your personality amazes me. You are not a baby anymore. You are a little person. With a mind of your own. You are strong willed and independent. You know what you want, when you want it. You make me laugh. Every single day. So my sweet girl, I am torn. Between the past and the future.
So I will enjoy the present. The right now. I will enjoy you when you color all over my tiles and smash your food into the table. I will enjoy snuggling with you watching Cinderella in Mommy and Daddy’s bed. I will enjoy every new word and sentence you say. I will enjoy every moment we spend together. And I will take a million pictures. So when I miss the past, I can look back at it, and admire how much you have grown. I am so proud to be your mama.
I love you with all that I am,