Today I was that mom…

If you would have driven by my house around 5:30 today you would have thought I was crazy.  Or drunk. Or both.

There I was, wearing a collared, button down tank top and zebra pajama pants.  My hair was wild and my cheeks were rosy from laughing so hard.  My car was full of soap suds and there was a dismantled high chair lying down 10 feet from where I was standing.  I had the hose in my hand.  Music was blasting.  Mini was running wild around the driveway.  Well on her way to becoming soaking wet.  In her school clothes.  Her hair plastered across her face from the last spray of the hose.  If you would have looked carefully you would have seen Joey.  Still in his dinosaur onesie.  Scrubbing his own tonka truck with a wash cloth.  The tips of his hair wet from when he too was in the path of the hose.

We would have looked crazy.

What would you have thought if you rolled the window down?  Heard the music playing.  Listened to Mini scream “get me one more time Mama, I dare you”.  Waited for their favorite song to come on and saw us break out some fantastic dance moves while the water trickled down the driveway.  Watched Joey giggle uncontrollably when the hose sprinkled water all around him.  Would you have still thought I was nuts?

Sure I could have made the kids put swim suits on.  I could have not been wearing zebra sweatpants rolled up to my mid thigh.  I could have actually used car wash soap instead of caress body wash to get the dead bugs off the car.  But that wasn’t how the story unfolded.

We were just having a day.  You know the ones.   When the kids are getting into everything.  Snack crumbs cover the floor.  You swear that you are going to change your name to anything but Mama.  And you say no.  A lot.  We had just finished eating dinner and I look over and saw Joey’s high chair covered in mashed potatoes.   Oh the joys of self feeding.  So in my efforts to tire my kids out before bath time I announced we were going to go outside to hose the high chair down.  As quickly as I decided to do it, we were outside.

Within a minute I heard myself tell Mini NO yet again.  “Don’t get wet.  You’re not wearing a bathing suit.”

And suddenly I thought.. “Who cares.  So what.  So her clothes get wet.  What is the big deal?!”  And I sprayed her with the hose.  She shrieked with laughter.  Half out of shock and the other half thrill.   And so that’s how it happened.  With me deciding to not say no.  As for the kids…they had an absolute blast.  It was 30 minutes well spent enjoying the last of the days’ sunshine.  We watered the flowers, scrubbed the high chair and got all the dead bugs off the front of the car.  And we laughed.  Really, really hard.

I have no control over the memories my children will choose to remember.  I don’t know if they will forget all about today.  Or if they will remember every second of the fun we had in that moment.   What I can control is how often moments like these happen.

I want my kids to have fun and be silly and know that we can have a good time. That we can laugh and act crazy.  And that Mama doesn’t always say no.

So the next time I see a mom sharing a donut in the parking lot with her 5 year old I’m going to smile.  When I see that mom dancing with her baby in the grocery store I’ll be inspired.  And from now on every time I see a mom look a little crazy I’ll just think, maybe they are in their moment.  And I’ll think to myself how lucky her kids are to have today for a memory.

So, I guess I was that mom today.  And I really hope I’m her again tomorrow.

I am one of 3 sisters.  You can call us “girly-girls”.  Our childhood filled with Barbie dream cars and dance recitals.  Lip gloss and high heels.

No soccer balls.  No fist fights.  We didn’t know from Call of Duty or Monster Jam.  Wasn’t our cup of tea.  So naturally, when I imagined my life as a mom, I imagined it to be just like me own mom’s.  I pictured me and Mike, surrounded by girls with beaming smiles and high pony tails.

I knew Mini was going to be a girl.  When the ultrasound tech asked if we wanted to know the sex I said sure, but I already knew.   In my heart I felt badly for Mike.  Who nodded earnestly, waiting to hear the words “It’s a boy”.  Like every father does.   But I knew.   I was having a girl.

She confirmed my gut instinct and before we knew it our lives became all shades of pink.   Her closet was filled with tutus and ruffles.  As a young toddler, she joined a dancing school and discovered her passion for watermelon lipsmackers.   Just as I knew she would.

And suddenly, we were having another baby.  I could see Mike’s hopes rising again.  Finally, his boy.  But I knew I was going to have another girl.  That was my plan.  All girls.  I pictured sisters.  Playing with their dolls, and later on in life gabbing about cute boys.  I was so excited to be having another baby.  And then I got a call from the doctor.  A test I had taken had come back.   All good news.  Then he asked if I wanted to know the sex of the baby.   “Of course”, I replied.  In the back of my head I was thinking…oh poor Mike.  But then I heard those 3 words.

“It’s a boy”

I shouted to Mike that we were having a boy, as I swallowed the huge lump in my throat.  A BOY!?!  No.  Not part of my plan.  No No No.  Mike was ecstatic.  Dancing around the living room.  Swinging Mini as high as she would go.  So I danced.  And smiled.  And in my head thought, HOLY SHIT.  A BOY????

Then I met you.  The doctor handed you to me and we locked eyes.  I stared at you for a very long time.  We named you Joseph Anthony.  You were the sweetest, softest baby in the world.  And I knew.  I knew I was put here to be your mama.  But I didn’t know how.  I didn’t get the hang of diaper changes and got peed on every day for the first 2 months.  I thought there was something wrong with you because you ate so much.   I watched you grow faster than anything I have ever seen in my entire life.

Then one day I noticed how you looked at me.  With these eyes that a boy only has for his mama.   And I melted.   It was official.  I was a boy mom.

I will be at the soccer fields.  I will be the one screaming the loudest when you score the winning touchdown.  I will know all about video games.  I will refuse, but I am sure at some point in my life you will make me go see Monster Jam and ride a ridiculously fast roller coaster.   And I will love it.  Or at least pretend to.

I will teach you how to be a great man.  How to be respectful and courageous.  To be generous but wise.  To take care of your sister.  I will mother you in the best way I know how.

It’s hard to believe it has been a year since the moment we first met.   I have watched you change from a tiny, sweet newborn baby to a daredevil, strong, lover of a one year old.  You have a heart of gold kid.   You are tough but you are a mush all at the same time.  And you have changed me in a way that only you could.

I am looking forward to the future.   I have never been more happy to have my life take a turn that led me down a road different from what I was expecting.  I am so lucky to have you and to be your mama.  Happy 1st Birthday Sweet Joey.  Everyone should be so lucky to have a son like you.