Popular Posts The Life

It’s OK To Fail.

Posted on February 2, 2015

I stopped reading to my child.

I don’t know when it happened.  I can’t tell you why I stopped.  I just know that it did.  And that I have failed her.  Somewhere between having Joey and juggling bath and bed times.   Somewhere between packing up in Naples and unpacking in Birmingham.   Somewhere between my impatience from a long day and haste to put her to sleep.

I have failed.

At least that’s what I felt like tonight.  A failure.

Our routine went as normal.  Dinner was quiet, as it was just me and the kids tonight.  We played our dinner time games.  “What was the best part of your day?”.  Mini helped me clean up and raced to get ready for the bath.  Just like every night, they played together in the tub for a while.  Blowing bubbles, splashing, the occasional struggle over who got to play with the fishies.  Normal stuff.  I took a quick glance at my watch and realized we were cutting it close to bedtime.

If you’re a mom you understand.  There is a bedtime.  A “goal” time I should say.  Dinner + Bath + Bed become a race against the clock.  It is when I am sitting there, acting lifeguard, in the bathroom that I start to get antsy.  I think of the food Joey tossed over his high chair tray, waiting to be swept up.  The wet clothes in the washing machine.  The counter tops that need to be wiped and the crock pot that needs a good scrubbing.  Suddenly I feel rushed.  Rushed against my mental clock.  To have them asleep before the “goal” time.  So that I can continue with what I have to do around the house, prepare for the next day, and hopefully, just hopefully, jump into bed a little early, because it is at this time every night that my energy levels hit a wall.

So I pulled them out of the tub.  Brushed their teeth.  Hurried to zip up their footie pajamas.  Flipped on Mini’s lamp and gave her a kiss.  I instructed her to read some books while I fed the baby.  I told her I would be in shortly.

I fed Joey.  Gave him kisses.  Tucked him in.  Made sure he had a crib full of pacifiers and plenty of water in his humidifier.  I carefully shut the door behind me and walked down the hall to Mini’s room.

There she was.  Propped up on her pillows.  A pile of books next to her on the bedspread.  Shoe la la.  Presenting Tallulah.  Frozen.  Storybook Princesses.  They were all there.  And there she was.  Reading.  In the glow of her lamp, my 3 year old daughter was reading herself a bedtime story.  When she heard me at the doorframe she finished her sentence, she closed the book and patted the bed.   That was my cue.  That was the routine.  To remove the books from the bed and climb on in with her.  To play soothing music and whisper secrets to each other until her eyelids closed.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling of failure.  Seeing her read her own bedtime stories.  Making up her own stories as she flipped pages to uncover new pictures.  Sure, I come in to her room every night and we have our nighttime routine.  But since when did that routine no longer involve reading a bedtime story to my child?  When did I get so rushed to beat my “goal” time that I neglected a nightly ritual that I once thought was so important.  That is so important.

I laid there for while, long after her eyes closed for the night and she drifted off to sleep.

As mothers, we try so hard to be there for it all.  Kiss every boo boo.  Clap after every living room dance show.  Tuck our babies in every night.  Read them stories.  Sometimes our plates get too full.  Sometimes we don’t even notice how full they are until they spill over.  I promised myself I would get a pass on this one.  That I will not feel guilty.  That I am sure the past few months of not reading bedtime stories will not permanently damage my child.  That she will still go to college.  That maybe, just maybe, she enjoyed reading to herself.  That maybe it’s not a horrible thing for her to do things alone.

I am not a failure.  I am a mom.  I am doing my best.  I will trip and fall but I will get back up again.  Because motherhood is hard.  And it doesn’t come with instructions.  So it’s o.k. to screw up sometimes.  As long as you get back on your feet and learn from it.  Because we are bound to make mistakes.  Act selfishly.  Lose patience.  It’s all part of the gig.

So tonight, when I close my eyes and drift off to sleep, I will think of my babies.  I will think of the stories I will read to them.  And I will tell myself “you have not failed”.  And I will repeat it over and over again until I believe it.

The Life

Vacation Recap

Posted on January 28, 2015

I never thought I would consider a trip to Orlando a “vacation”.  Sure, it’s considered a vacation hot spot for most of the world, but when you grow up in South Florida, not so much.   Mini spent the entire beginning of 2015 planning her “vacation” wardrobe.  I have never seen a kid so excited to wear a bathing suit.  Clearly she is not a fan of the Birmingham winter.  She marched out of her room a week before she left dragging her Minnie Mouse suitcase behind her and parked it right at the front door announcing she was ready.  When she went to bed I took a peek inside.  10 bathing suits.  2 bows.  Curious George.  And her hairbrush.  At least she makes hair-care a priority.

The real reason for the trip was not to lay around basking in the Florida sun.  We were headed South to watch my little sister Jessica graduate nursing school!  Celebrations were definitely in order.  She completed a one year accelerated program to get her Bachelors of Science in Nursing.  Yippee!   We are so proud of her!

My family rented a big house with a nice heated pool (for Mini, of course).  It was such a great idea I had, to rent the house.  (Because it was my idea Mom, don’t take the credit).  It’s so hard to stay in hotels when you have small kids.  Everyone is split up and all of the meals have to be eaten out.  You all know I’m way too cheap for that.  Our house was beautiful.  5 bedrooms, each with their own full bath.  Heat pool and hot tub.  Game room with pin ball machines & air hockey.  Kitchen, living room, dining room, you name it.  There was so much space and it was clean as a whistle; fresh flowers and everything!  It was the perfect size for our group of 8 adults and 2 kids.  I loved that we got to go food shopping and eat most of our meals in the house around the table just like if we were at home.  Going out to eat with 2 kids is really not the most enjoyable experience.  Sure, once in a while, but not 15 meals in 5 days.  No thank you.  Anyways, I digress.  If you are interested in vacationing in the Orlando area, I highly suggest renting a home as opposed to a hotel.  You won’t be sorry.

Naturally since we were in Orlando we had to spend a day in the Magic Kingdom.   It was a perfect day for Joey’s first time to Disney.  The weather was great and it wasn’t all that crowded.  You couldn’t ask for better circumstances to be in a theme park.  Even Mike had a good time and if you knew how he felt about walking around in a theme park all day you would understand how great the day was.  Mini had a blast ordering everyone around as usual.  Disney with your grandparents is truly a toddler’s paradise.  I don’t think she heard the word NO the entire day.  Joey was the cutest thing ever to ride a carousel.   I literally had to PRY his chubby fingers off of the horse when the ride ended.  (Follow me on instagram to check out the video).   I always love looking at Mini’s face during the parades and I finally got to watch one with Joey.  He did not disappoint.  His whole little face lit up in wonder and he was bouncing on my hip to the music.   His first trip was just perfect.

We spent the last day of the trip relaxing in the backyard.  It sounds silly to say, but it felt so good just to feel the sun on your face.  We have been out of Florida for too long.  I was feeling like such a tourist.   It’s hard being away from family so it was great to just spend time with everyone.   I’m already feeling homesick again.  Or maybe I’m just detoxing from a weekend of martinis and taboo…

Our trip in pictures

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Dear Mini The Life

Dear Mini,

Posted on January 16, 2015

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.  You make me happy, when skies are grey.”

Well Min, we have been living in Birmingham for over 4 months already.  Can you believe it?   You have adjusted so perfectly into your new pre-school and dancing school.  You always have been easy to transition.  Never giving us trouble.  You were a dream to potty train, move to a big girl bed, start school.  You make the “hard stuff” pretty easy on me.  Trust me, it is much appreciated.  You still talk about Florida all the time.  Just the other morning you asked about the beach and came out of your room in a bathing suit.  Needless to say it was 38 degrees here in Alabama, but you were insistent on pretending it was a beach day.  So I cranked up the heat and watched you color pictures in your 2 piece.  You can be so silly sometimes.

Joey has become your best friend overnight.  As soon as he started interacting with you, he had you wrapped around his little finger.  You are so in love with each other my heart could just melt.  You have really embraced the “big sister” role.  You always want to feed him (and he always wants to eat), you run into his room when he wakes up to greet him (by jumping in the crib), you love to play soccer in his room before bath time (you two really play a great game of roll-the-ball) and you look out for him.  Like a big sister should.  Sometimes you can be a little bossy, but you can’t help it.  It’s in your nature.  It is so fun for me to watch you two interact and play now that he is old enough to sit next to you and play alongside you.

Your personality is growing as quickly as you are and lately some of the things you say and do are just crazy.  Or as you would tell me, “it’s awesome”.  From stories about ghosts in your brother’s closet to telling me all about the baby in your belly (yes, you really said that), your imagination is pretty incredible.   I hope you always have that sense of wonder about you.  It gives you character and makes you exactly who you are.

I am so glad to say that I think the terrible/toddler/twosandthrees are behind us.  You suddenly seem more grown up.  You are easier to reason with.  You now understand when you misbehave and truly are apologetic.  You have become more independent and helpful.  I am so proud to watch you dress yourself and help me with household chores.  Even if it’s just matching the socks in the laundry basket, it is an important job and you do it fabulously.

You are a strong girl, my dear.  And you inspire me to be a strong mama.

Love always,

Mama

Recipes The Life

Almost NO Cal Veggie Soup

Posted on January 7, 2015

veggiesouplowcal

Well if the heading doesn’t say enough…this soup is amazing.  Not only does it have hardly any calories, it’s made in the crock pot!  Ding, ding!  We have a winner.  This soup came about kind of on a whim.  It is freezing cold and rainy here in Alabama + I am trying to not eat like a pig.  So this veggie soup was born.  It is seriously yummy and flavorful and I don’t have any guilt about having seconds.

Here’s how to make it:

Ingredients:

2 zucchini

1 large yellow onion

10 carrots

2 cups spinach

3 stalks celery

2 boxes low-sodium vegetable broth

Chop the zucchini, carrots, celery and onion.  I kept the pieces fairly large because they are going to cook down in size in the crock all day.  If you chop them too small they will get too mushy and basically fall apart in the broth.

Place all veggies in the crock pot and fill the crock pot with 2 boxes of low-sodium vegetable broth.  Now add some spices.  I used S+P, garlic powder, Italian seasoning and a bay leaf.  (Not everyone has a bag of bay leaves in their kitchen.  Don’t stress it if you don’t.  Your soup will still be delish.)

You can add the spinach in the beginning (this is what I did), or add it an hour before you want to eat the soup.

Before serving remove the bay leaf.  If you don’t it’s alright.  I’m pretty sure I ate mine.

Cook on low for 8 hours or high for 4.

My favorite part about the soup is it’s versatility.  Switch up the vegetables if you want.  Add some kale if that’s your thing.  Don’t like zucchini?  Leave it out.

Feel like having a creamier soup?  Once the soup is almost done, pour half into a blender.  Add the blended contents back to the crock pot and cook for another 30 minutes.

Do whatever you want to it, just make it.  Make it and eat it, in all it’s deliciousness.

Thank me later,

XO Danielle

Oh and as a side note…if you have babies or toddlers, I scooped out a bunch of veggies to serve up along side their lunch.  Nothing gives me greater pleasure than that whole 2 birds + 1 stone thing.  Mini and Joey gobbled it up!