I am one of 3 sisters. You can call us “girly-girls”. Our childhood filled with Barbie dream cars and dance recitals. Lip gloss and high heels.
No soccer balls. No fist fights. We didn’t know from Call of Duty or Monster Jam. Wasn’t our cup of tea. So naturally, when I imagined my life as a mom, I imagined it to be just like me own mom’s. I pictured me and Mike, surrounded by girls with beaming smiles and high pony tails.
I knew Mini was going to be a girl. When the ultrasound tech asked if we wanted to know the sex I said sure, but I already knew. In my heart I felt badly for Mike. Who nodded earnestly, waiting to hear the words “It’s a boy”. Like every father does. But I knew. I was having a girl.
She confirmed my gut instinct and before we knew it our lives became all shades of pink. Her closet was filled with tutus and ruffles. As a young toddler, she joined a dancing school and discovered her passion for watermelon lipsmackers. Just as I knew she would.
And suddenly, we were having another baby. I could see Mike’s hopes rising again. Finally, his boy. But I knew I was going to have another girl. That was my plan. All girls. I pictured sisters. Playing with their dolls, and later on in life gabbing about cute boys. I was so excited to be having another baby. And then I got a call from the doctor. A test I had taken had come back. All good news. Then he asked if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. “Of course”, I replied. In the back of my head I was thinking…oh poor Mike. But then I heard those 3 words.
“It’s a boy”
I shouted to Mike that we were having a boy, as I swallowed the huge lump in my throat. A BOY!?! No. Not part of my plan. No No No. Mike was ecstatic. Dancing around the living room. Swinging Mini as high as she would go. So I danced. And smiled. And in my head thought, HOLY SHIT. A BOY????
Then I met you. The doctor handed you to me and we locked eyes. I stared at you for a very long time. We named you Joseph Anthony. You were the sweetest, softest baby in the world. And I knew. I knew I was put here to be your mama. But I didn’t know how. I didn’t get the hang of diaper changes and got peed on every day for the first 2 months. I thought there was something wrong with you because you ate so much. I watched you grow faster than anything I have ever seen in my entire life.
Then one day I noticed how you looked at me. With these eyes that a boy only has for his mama. And I melted. It was official. I was a boy mom.
I will be at the soccer fields. I will be the one screaming the loudest when you score the winning touchdown. I will know all about video games. I will refuse, but I am sure at some point in my life you will make me go see Monster Jam and ride a ridiculously fast roller coaster. And I will love it. Or at least pretend to.
I will teach you how to be a great man. How to be respectful and courageous. To be generous but wise. To take care of your sister. I will mother you in the best way I know how.
It’s hard to believe it has been a year since the moment we first met. I have watched you change from a tiny, sweet newborn baby to a daredevil, strong, lover of a one year old. You have a heart of gold kid. You are tough but you are a mush all at the same time. And you have changed me in a way that only you could.
I am looking forward to the future. I have never been more happy to have my life take a turn that led me down a road different from what I was expecting. I am so lucky to have you and to be your mama. Happy 1st Birthday Sweet Joey. Everyone should be so lucky to have a son like you.